Saturday, October 22, 2011


So what are you working on now?
I am working on this story.

I see you are writing only stories these days.

Well ya. Fans like it that way


Not important. It is better than writing random observations about unimportant things. Don’t you think so?

So what is it about?

I haven’t decided. I have this character in mind. A guy who is single.

Rare character, I must say

Don’t interrupt. So this guy is the hero of the story.

And heroine?

No heroine. In fact on second thoughts, let there be a heroine. This nice girl who he sees in the cafeteria every day. They keep staring at each other.

He wouldn’t go talk to her?

No. The moment you talk or get introduced, you cannot stare at a girl right into her eyes, till the moment you fall in love.

Ok. So they fall in love?

Who said it is about love?

Thank God!Just tell me the story

I don’t have a story as such. There is this hero, heroine, a couple of sentimental characters, lots of comedians, and villains?

Sounds like a tamil movie plot already

Just read the script and tell me how it is. I will take your valuable comments later on.

Enter villain one - This guy’s house owner calls him up and says, “You have to shift next month. I am going to make this a serviced apartment.”

“What kind of service? “,he wants to say, but ends up saying, “Ok. Sure”

“I will give you a few agents’ number. They will help you get a house by that time”, says the owner.

“Sure. That would be great”, he says. That wouldn’t be great, he knows.

He starts looking out for a house. Meanwhile the sentimental characters, his mom and dad, do what they do best. Worry. The dad is so sentimental that he could be cast straight into one of those ongoing tamil soaps. Mom is a bit better. She is one of those do it all moms. She wants to find a house, shift things, set things up for her son and leave to attend to her grandson. Time is an issue for her.

The mom starts the sentimental attack on her son. If you had gotten married by now, without declining every other girl coming your way, you could have taken a nice 2 bhk now. Now you have to wait and see where her office is going to be when she comes and then take a house. This is why I say you should have married earlier. And the conversation becomes about marriage. Goes on for 2.5 hours, before the hero runs into his room for cover. His dad sits there waiting for him. He repeats the whole thing. Another 2.5 hours.

He starts searching in the web. Things are easier to find with the help of the websites, apparently. Calls a couple of people looking for a 2 BHK. BHK – a famous abbreviation used in the cities. Bedroom, hall, kitchen to be elaborate. Baksh-do Hum Ko is also BHK coincidentally. Hero looks up the classifieds in the paper, net , everywhere possible. Calls up a few people.

Enter comedian one. He says”Sir, I am an agent”. All the James bond movies run through hero’s mind. James bond is highly over rated, he thinks. The agent continues, “I show one good house sir. Vastu compliant”. Vastu must be one whiny bitch. Keeps complaining.

“24 hour water supply, sir. Owner is very good. He gives houses to bachelors also” concluded the agent

Lucky me, the hero thinks. Landlords build houses and then they forget the land part. Lord Brahma, Lord Vishnu, Lord Mahadev, Lord Land

So the agent shows a matchbox and calls it a house. “How much is the rent?” the hero asks. “10k” the agent says. “I will pay 10 Rs for this”, he wants to say, but ends up saying, “I will take it”. The hero goes into a train of thoughts - Ground floor, mom can walk in easily, owner doesn’t stay in the apartment – so no monitoring business – close to where I stay now, meaning , I don’t miss out on the food in the mallu restaurant. And also on the saloon. Finding a good barber is like finding inner peace.

Hero takes mom and dad who make sentimental requests to the owner, villain 2, to reduce the rent. The owner falls for nothing. He must not be into tamil serials, the hero thinks. Gives a token advance. Feels relieved. < Intermission>

Next day the new owner calls back, asks the hero to take the token amount back. He wants to give the house to his relative. The hero wants to sue him. He sues twice aka goes and takes a leak.

House hunt part two begins. He calls up another agent and waits in the area for an hour. Agent doesn’t turn up. Frustrated hero decides to expand hi horizon per mom’s advice. Goes around the city looking for houses. Fails to find any. To-Let board haunts his dreams. All he has is a toilet.

And then it happens. He sees an ad in the office bulletin board. Leaves office immediately to see the house. It is like a dream come true. No brokerage. Cheap house for that area. He reaches the houses. He sees a couple leaving the house happily. It is taken. He wants to kill them and occupy the house. Goes homes and sleeps instead. He is woken up by flurry of words in the advisory tone. Has to be dad.
He gives up all hopes. Decides to dump all his luggage somewhere and live on the road. May be buy a tent or something. Agent Mallik calls and says I have found a 1BHK. Hero says, let’s keep this a secret mission. We will go in the night, when others are not there to see the house. And finish the deal. Agent mallik thinks the hero has gone mentally ill.

The hero is not able to sleep the whole night. All he could think about is his 1 BHK. Morning he goes to the temple to pray. And then goes to see the house. Finally, the prayers are answered - the deal is done. He has found one. Mom is not entirely happy with the house. But gives a go ahead. Happy ending.


Forget it mate, you suck at story telling


shraman said...

I did not like the last line of the story.. The line about the author is not at all true!!

Soundarya said...

new house!! :)

well who said story is nt good :) not ypur ususal style but then ....

Narayani Karthik said...

so u finally found one.....after a lot of struggle :) Good one.....enjoyed reading it :D

Anonymous said...

Such good writing, keeps the reader gripped...well that wouldn't be the first time though!
- Aditi

manoranjini said...

//Finding a good barber is like finding inner peace.

Loved the narration .You rock at story telling !:)

Swatz said...

Mast story..Agent Vinod!! :P

Vinod R Iyer said...

@Shraman: you are too generous :)
@Soundarya: New house .. looks like it, does nt it ? :)
@narayani: Indeed
@Aditi : Thanks ! :)
@Lekshmi: Danke :)
@Swatz: That's saif ali khan :P