Sunday, November 1, 2009

Ab Bus !

I like travelling a lot. And I even remember putting a request to Mr.Ganapati , saying, I would like to travel a lot; Go around the world, see different places. And as the request went through the atmosphere and the galaxies, the latter part got evaporated. The end result – I find myself in a bus, train or a flight every weekend. And as usual, here I am analyzing the nuances of each mode of the travel.

The Bus:

The VOLVO group unveiled a statue of the person in Sweden, who suggested the expansion of their buses in Indian market! When you are thinking of taking those Volvo buses, think again. They are the easiest method to slip your spine disk. And still if you are taking it, add at least 4 hours to the running time that the duration the travels people tell you. Every highway in India is under construction, always. Make sure you say an extra prayer before you board the bus. This is for asserting the fact that the mota uncle sitting beside you has used a deodorant. The tricky thing about the AC is that, if you open the air vent, it will be too cold and if you close it you will sweat. The choice is yours. The movies that will be on display during the travel would be the ones you hate, the ones that nobody can stand or the ones that you would have seen enough number of times. Make sure you carry a good head phone with noise cancellation to avoid a disastrous 3 hours. And travelling by bus would mean that you have to exercise your bladders. It is almost a stress test. If you have TB(Tiny Bladder), I would recommend strongly against travelling by bus.

The Train:

I love travelling by train. Or at least, I used to. The problem with the ‘developing India’ is that it is not only you who is getting richer. Everyone has the money to travel by AC class these days. And how much ever you might try; the tickets would not be available on the date on which you want to travel. You might hope that you can book through “tatkal’, but you literally have 2 minutes to crack it. But if you do manage to get hold of tickets, then what awaits you is a bunch of co-passengers who would be ready to pounce on you. From kids who would be amused by the 3 tier berths to the uncles who would want to know everything from your family background to your companies firing policy, people would be all over you. If you are feeling sleepy, then others would not and you would have to wait. If you are not feeling sleepy, then others surely would and you would have to lie there staring into the roof of the train. Do practice pranayama , since it will help you when you step into the loo.

The Flight:

Flying - The quickest and easiest way to travel from one place to another. It is quite true. But travelling to the airports would be the harder part. You would spend almost 25% of the flight ticket, if you are planning to take a cab to the airport. All the “ultra modern airports” would be constructed at the far end of the city (read as the neighboring village). You have to leave at least 2 hours before the check in time. And you will take 2 hours from the time of landing to reach your destination. So eventually you are looking at spending 8 hours for the travel. Not quite as fast a mode of travel, is it? Also with the given amount of “close shaves” the carriers are having these days, you would be having a 2 hours of tension filled travel. Try sitting near those huge fans which are present in the small carriers these days. Watching them is as good as watching “The Ring”. But yes, the two hours of the ‘check-in time’ would give you the best chance to hit on a girl. The idea is to pretend that you cannot find any other seat and sit next to her. More often than not, the girl would be wishing you would too, if you are interesting enoughJ. And of course there are the air hostesses who would give you good eye candy.

In all the above three modes of travel, there are few things that are common.

1. Murphy’s Thumb rule: Whatever be the method of travel, no interesting girl/guy, respective to the person who is travelling, shall sit next to you during the entire length of the travel. (Don’t be dumb and take a Docomo connection). Not everyone is as lucky as Aditya Kashyap !

2. The Back seat rule: Irrespective of the method of travel , there would be a baby/kid in the seat behind you, who would be screaming out loud through the entire travel

3. The mobile rule: The person next to you would be speaking at the top of his voice during the travel. I wonder how people are still stuck to the trunk- call era!

I realized that the reason behind so much travelling could be the fact that I do not like to stay in the place I am right now. So instead taking this huge amount of travelling, I think I would move out of this place. And keep hoping that the latter part of my message reaches Mr.Ganapati soon.

Happy Journey !

PS: This post originated courtesy to my friend/guru Pradeep(who wanted due credits:P)

Song for the Occasion: Musafir hun yaron, Na ghar hai na tikana