Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Weight and watch

“Damn, I forgot my shoes today”, “Oh, I did not eat properly in the afternoon”,“It's raining so badly, How can I go?”, “Let me start afresh from the first of next month”, “My track pants are in for a wash”....

I am sure you know what I am talking about. Excuses galore don't they, when you just do not want to go to the gym/exercise. It is the toughest fight you would have had with your mind. Endless debates as to why you should indeed put so much effort for losing/gaining 3-4 extra Kgs of fat. Eventhough your brain knows that only good can come out of keeping fit and being healthy. And when you hear the words, “ You have put down a lot”, it sounds like music to your ears.

I have donated so much to different gymnasiums across the country and even outside. In fact the Gym owners bank on people like me to run their business. People like me give the machines a run only once in a while. But it is heartening to know that I am amongst the majority. The minority being the ones who are hell bend on artistically shaping their body up. Or the ones who are frantically trying to put down weight, for their marriage would be around the corner.

I would blame the movie industry completely for this. For making people believe that your body should look like a crafted piece, with all the muscles bulging out, well toned. But you know what? These guys are paid to do so!! Nobody would pay me if I were to have a six pack abs next year. (I am paid to sit in office and write blog posts, which I do honestly) Once this fact is established, it is mighty hard to make those daily trips to the gym. The treadmill becomes the villain in your life. And a villain who always wins. You might be able to push him down once in a blue moon with the help of Linkin Park songs. But usually you fall short by 5-10 minutes and treadmill gives this evil grin. The most interesting part in the gym is that people are at their peak of comparison mode. The usual ones (from a guy's perspective at least) being: - Am I as fat as that guy? Dude, You were born in a gym? I hope I don't end up like that uncle out there! The guy is worried about the shape of the curl in his biceps- dude get a life!

Human body in itself is one of the most amazing works of craft. The fat you lose in 3-4 months can be regained in 3-4 days. Especially for people like me who can put on weight at the smell of ghee or butter. The grass theory works here too. You look at lean people who are trying to put on weight at the gym and wonder, is it that hard?! I was looking at a lean guy the other day and was wondering, “The trainer put you on what – a chocolate diet?!”. But then, to pull you back to the world of reality, they have intelligently kept mirrors all around the gym. Your focus comes back to the layer that is hanging out of your tummy. If it was only running the miles, then you might just have done it. But they ask you to eat healthy – meaning not eat at all. Again we are fighting the roots of our mankind and animal instincts here. Have you ever seen an elephant taking a push up or trying to hang by the tree to lose a few pounds? Or a buffalo thinking, damn I am looking fat on my cheeks, let me skip the free hay stack that my master gave me today. And eventually you choose to “take a break” from gymming/dieting, citing better excuses.

But everything said and done, realization strikes you hard when you are in the trial room of some store. You try hard to convince yourself that you still can fit into the same waist sized trouser you did a couple of years back. But Alas! You buy some of the clothes thinking that you will pull down weight in a month's time and then you can wear it. But those clothes rarely see sunlight. And when a long lost friend comes across and tells you “Man, you have put on some weight”, hell breaks loose. The number on the weighing machine starts weighing on your mind. You are left with no choice but to slap the devil's advocate, asking it to shut up. You find the gym next to place and donate some money to it. It is an infinite loop.

Song for the occasion: Dauda Dauda bhaaga bhaaga sa