Agar aisa hai toh mein woh pyar ko hone hi nahi deta"
Akash couldn’t keep his words and fell in love with Shalini. So what about you Mr.Iyer?
Around 65 % of the Indian middle class youngsters stick to arranged marriage (BTW 44.3% of statistics is useless!). And around 80 % of them I guess would have given up on their love just because of pressure from their parents. No, this is not a preview of any Hindi movie. Nor is it an age-old debate of Arranged Marriage Vs Love marriage. These are just musings of a middle-middle class Iyer guy. (Relax Amma. I am not trying to tell you something through this :))
The fact is that most of the TamBrahms are conservative when it comes to marrying their child off to a guy/girl of different caste (forget religion). Even more so are the Marwadis or the Kobras or Shastris(Not even considering the muslims). In fact we can generalize this to a wider range of communities in India. So caught in between the devil (love) and the deep sea (society) are the young minds.
We all know that when Cupid strikes it is really tough to resist. It might be the lamest of the reasons; like I cant live without looking at her eyes; he is so caring and sensitive; both of us like Hum Aapke hain Kaun etc etc. But it does drive people crazy. So much that they would go to any extremes for him/her. Thanks to the movies that give a million permutations and combinations of the ways in which love unfolds, wins, fights or loses, we are never short of examples of a lover’s tale. So when you do realize that you are in love with someone, would you be able to resist?
I know every individual has the right to shape his life up. And a life partner is the most important part of it. But in out society where parents are still not open minded and secular enough, should we take a risk? I call it a risk because many a times you might be able to convince them that your decision is not erratic. And if they do not approve of it then starts the battle. Elope, register your marriage, come with a baby in one year’s time and ask your parents to forget everything. So is it really worth this fight. Should you hurt your mom and dad’s sentiments? After all they lived their life for you!
So now starts the struggle: To find someone of your same clan and fall in love. How much ever stupid that sounds! I mean, you can’t go to girl and say, “I love You. Would you like to spend the rest of your life with me? Err …By the way you are an Iyer right!!”
Like love in itself is not complicated enough! As you try day in and day out to sustain it, and at last decide that she/he is the one, there comes the problem of meeting the parents! Probably people have been there and done that would be able to explain the intricacies of the whole thing.
Is it really possible to step aside and defend the Cupid when it strikes? When you meet some one who is so meant for you. Some one with whom you will be happy to spend the rest of your life with. Or should you just go into a shell and be narrow-minded?
I guess this confusion would occur only to a set of people. Some wouldn’t even understand what I am talking about. People from the west would laugh out loud at this. Sometimes I wonder if their approach to life is much more simpler. Like a daughter would go to her mom and say “Mumma, I am getting married” and the mother would jump and embrace the girl and say “Oh honey, I am so happy for you!” But since I am in the part of the world where people are not that broad minded (but perhaps sensible), I would think a million times before venturing taking the devil’s side! And in the end I guess I would decide to kick away the cupid. What about you ?
Comments others had were:
but i guess u pretty much said it all :)
and for the Sociey of Aware Iyers ( ;) ), i guess it only means that we shudnt let cupid IN in the first place to shut it out later.. :D